Seems we all need a minute right now. Utterly worn out by headlines and big picture thinking. Overwhelm demands radical reduction. A pivot from macro to micro. To celebrate the granular. Steve Martin said it best, "Let's get small." Like children on a playground. It's time to get back to nice. To share. To hold hands. If just for a little while.
As I wrote in a post 10 years ago about a death meditation I was part of, all this global noise and spin and worry will mean nothing in the final 8 seconds of our life ... in that clarifying moment when we ask ourselves, What mattered? When all our days are burned away to the final inhale and exhale, what did actually give our life purpose? In my case, it wasn’t the magazines or the art created. It was not the elections I fought hard for and lost. Not even close.
The answer is simple math, really:
To love + To be loved = A good life
The stain remover for the human stain is TO LOVE AND BE LOVED! This mutual exchange alone makes all the struggle worth it. Life is not about achieving. It's about giving and receiving. Don't misunderstand me. I am not suggesting you go out and love the people who hate you. To the contrary, I'm telling you to go find the people who love you. Because, what we need now is to feel connected to someone. Something real. What I need right now, in a world of endless grievance … a tsunami of turmoil and discord … a hurricane of untruth and deceit … is to look only as far as my outstretched arm will reach … into the eyes of someone who gets me. Someone I cherish. Someone who will hug me for a long time. Allow me to melt into them. And sigh audibly. Then stand beside me and hold my hand as we watch the storm rage. Because, I’m just a tired and scared boy in the rain. Somebody please keep me warm and dry.
MY PEOPLE
Who are the people you support and support you? That you protect and protect you. The folks who know your bed-head and morning breath. Your favorite band and pasta sauce. FIND THEM. GO TO THEM. Your life has deep purpose and relevance because of them. And don't just revert to intellectual discourse about the big bad world. Be in your body. Feel more. Think less. Play catch. In other words ... CONNECT AS CHILDREN CONNECT. Because we're all just kids, big and small.
Want some lemonade? I do. A playdate? Yes please. We're all still who we were before politics, before career and self consciousness. What about a sleepover? Absolutely. While the hard rain smashes down on our mussed heads, let’s return for a few precious moments to our basic childhood values: spontaneity, exploration, laughter and a good cry. More silly.
Who you love + Who loves you = Who you need to be with now
YOUR PEOPLE
The kids inside the grownups
I love you. I miss you. I need you.
We cannot say these thing too many times. I spoke with my dad yesterday. It was lovely. He died two years ago. No matter. He's become a much better listener. Find your people and tell them something meaningful. Tell them how you really feel ... about them, about yourself, about anything. Give them your presence. Your kiss. Your shoulder. Your embrace. Give them your self. Be generous.
The antidote to sadness is generosity.
The antidote to fear is generosity.
The antidote to hate is generosity.
The antidote to loneliness is generosity.
Any small nicety, be it thing or thought … Jodi and I call these “just because gifts.” Just because these people are why your life matters. Because you cherish their being. And wish to see their lovely eyes light up unexpectedly.
Find your squad and bring cupcakes. The meaning of life is really little more than time well spent with a few key folks over the many decades we're alotted. That's it. A few unicorns get to be Steve Jobs and Stevie Wonder and Galileo. But the other 99.99999% of us do our best to pay the bills, keep calm and carry on. What really matters for us is being in the same room with our chosen few human mirrors ... in whom we see our best self. Our true self.
So, find their eyes. And lock in. Make a playdate. Remind them the turbulent world has nothing to do with your love and support. I love you, I miss you. I need you. Tell them why you need them. Just spit it out. Say what you need to say. And then it is said. Tell them the truth. Your truth. Can we all just get back to the truth, please! Admit we're frail. Confused. And, more often than not, so alone. Our people make us less alone.
One good thing about a rainstorm is all that fresh water soaking our bodies and souls. Particularly at moments when we're all so thirsty for understanding. Dying for a tall glass of realness. So, let's pour our freshwater onto the parched lips of our beloveds and vice versa. Share the ecstatic nectar of connection. Empty our pitchers and watch it ripple outward, filling all seas. All souls.
Love and be loved!
I love math, and even more now ! Thank for sharing this inspirational message
very true, very loving, very deep, thank you for enlightening our day(s)
Stuart you always put things is perspective! Thank you for sharing these words!
Amen, amen, amen...
I really needed this. Thank you Stuart