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Stuart Sheldon
Jul 8, 20133 min read
How To Eat
The average American meal lasts SEVEN MINUTES !! We don’t dine. We shovel. And what little conversation does occur often emerges through...
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Stuart Sheldon
Jun 27, 20131 min read
The Insanity and Humanity of Vanity
Stop waiting to see who watches No one watches At least not for long Everyone’s far too busy Looking in mirrors of their own ~ image...
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Stuart Sheldon
Jun 17, 20132 min read
A Sneeze Between the Knees
“A Sneeze Between the Knees. That is an orgasm!” My college sex ed teacher opened her very first lecture with that jewel. Best...
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Stuart Sheldon
Jun 13, 20133 min read
How To Divorce
Stuart Sheldon, Mother’s Day, Acrylic, Chinese funeral paper on panel, 24″x24″, 2004 I got divorced a long time ago. The short story is...
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Stuart Sheldon
Jun 6, 20132 min read
Relationships = Bottles of Tabasco
photo by Jenny Kaczorowski from WANA Commons We just finished bottle number two. Took us nearly ten years. Each drop another meal,...
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Stuart Sheldon
May 30, 20133 min read
Give It Away Give It Away Give It Away Now
A fellow painter invited me last week to be one of four artists at a South Beach corporate event. Live painting feels a bit like being a...
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Stuart Sheldon
May 22, 20133 min read
Arrested at Age 12 – #2 of 10 Things I Can’t Believe I Really Did
The heavy-around-the-middle cop shut the front door behind himself, took a notepad from his shirt pocket and flipped it open. His gaze...
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Stuart Sheldon
May 16, 20132 min read
Wooden Ships
Stuart Sheldon, The Name On Everyone’s Lips, acrylic and collage on panel, 2003 “If you smile at me I will understand. That is something...
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Stuart Sheldon
May 8, 20133 min read
I Shot My Brother – #1 of 10 Things I Can’t Believe I Really Did
Stuart Sheldon, Don’t Hide Behind Words, acrylic and pastel on canvas, 24″x24″, 2004 I shot my brother with a BB gun. IN THE TESTICLES....
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Stuart Sheldon
May 2, 20132 min read
Heavy Petting Penguins
I’m a beach guy. Slept on one on every continent but Antarctica. Born and raised in the teeny weeny bikini culture of Miami, F-L-A....
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Stuart Sheldon
Apr 25, 20132 min read
Shut The Front Door!
I waited alone to be seated in a Thai restaurant on Boulder’s Pearl Street Mall. In front of me a beefy frat boy and his...
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Stuart Sheldon
Apr 16, 20132 min read
Too Much Stuff
I currently live in a 2600 square foot home that I consider a mansion after five years on a 928 sf Sausalito houseboat. Mind you, I’ll...
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Stuart Sheldon
Apr 11, 20131 min read
Online Mating
It used to pain me to admit that I met my wife online. As if I was too pathetic to find someone in the real world. I needed algorithms....
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Stuart Sheldon
Apr 4, 20132 min read
The Beauty of a Handwritten Letter
When did you last receive a hand written letter? When did you last write one? Is it a lost art? My mother’s mother and father loved each...
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Stuart Sheldon
Mar 26, 20132 min read
Cupcakes
Stuart Sheldon, Whirled Wide Whimsy, typewriter on paper, collage, poetry, 11-1/2″x8-1/4″, 2003 We embarked on a proper family brunch...
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Stuart Sheldon
Mar 21, 20132 min read
Hacked … Smacked … Shellacked!
I’m driving along two sunny Sunday’s ago, blasting Ramblin Man, when my wife calls. Confusion tints her voice. “What’s up with this poem...
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Stuart Sheldon
Mar 7, 20133 min read
Dis-Appoint-Ment
Easy reading is damn hard writing. N. Hawthorn Stuart Sheldon, Follow It Home, acrylic and Chinese funeral paper on panel, 24″x24″, 2004...
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Stuart Sheldon
Feb 28, 20132 min read
Make Me Harder to Kill
Met an ex-Marine named Chad the other day. Guy was yoked, had "muscles on his muscles" as my dad liked to say. We got to talking about...
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Stuart Sheldon
Feb 24, 20132 min read
Why Whitney Houston is an Immortal Goddess
Whitney Houston in The Bodyguard The Bodyguard grossed $410 million worldwide. Amazing … since it sucked. I know. I worked on it, an...
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Stuart Sheldon
Feb 8, 20131 min read
99 Problems …
The best way out is always through. Robert Frost A Bay Area friend’s daughter posted this on FB yesterday: I was going to post all the...
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