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Stuart Sheldon
Jun 27, 20131 min read
The Insanity and Humanity of Vanity
Stop waiting to see who watches No one watches At least not for long Everyone’s far too busy Looking in mirrors of their own ~ image...
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Stuart Sheldon
Jun 17, 20132 min read
A Sneeze Between the Knees
“A Sneeze Between the Knees. That is an orgasm!” My college sex ed teacher opened her very first lecture with that jewel. Best...
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Stuart Sheldon
Jun 13, 20133 min read
How To Divorce
Stuart Sheldon, Mother’s Day, Acrylic, Chinese funeral paper on panel, 24″x24″, 2004 I got divorced a long time ago. The short story is...
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Stuart Sheldon
Jun 6, 20132 min read
Relationships = Bottles of Tabasco
photo by Jenny Kaczorowski from WANA Commons We just finished bottle number two. Took us nearly ten years. Each drop another meal,...
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Stuart Sheldon
May 30, 20133 min read
Give It Away Give It Away Give It Away Now
A fellow painter invited me last week to be one of four artists at a South Beach corporate event. Live painting feels a bit like being a...
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Stuart Sheldon
May 22, 20133 min read
Arrested at Age 12 – #2 of 10 Things I Can’t Believe I Really Did
The heavy-around-the-middle cop shut the front door behind himself, took a notepad from his shirt pocket and flipped it open. His gaze...
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Stuart Sheldon
May 16, 20132 min read
Wooden Ships
Stuart Sheldon, The Name On Everyone’s Lips, acrylic and collage on panel, 2003 “If you smile at me I will understand. That is something...
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Stuart Sheldon
May 8, 20133 min read
I Shot My Brother – #1 of 10 Things I Can’t Believe I Really Did
Stuart Sheldon, Don’t Hide Behind Words, acrylic and pastel on canvas, 24″x24″, 2004 I shot my brother with a BB gun. IN THE TESTICLES....
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Stuart Sheldon
Apr 25, 20132 min read
Shut The Front Door!
I waited alone to be seated in a Thai restaurant on Boulder’s Pearl Street Mall. In front of me a beefy frat boy and his...
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Stuart Sheldon
Mar 26, 20132 min read
Cupcakes
Stuart Sheldon, Whirled Wide Whimsy, typewriter on paper, collage, poetry, 11-1/2″x8-1/4″, 2003 We embarked on a proper family brunch...
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Stuart Sheldon
Mar 21, 20132 min read
Hacked … Smacked … Shellacked!
I’m driving along two sunny Sunday’s ago, blasting Ramblin Man, when my wife calls. Confusion tints her voice. “What’s up with this poem...
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Stuart Sheldon
Mar 7, 20133 min read
Dis-Appoint-Ment
Easy reading is damn hard writing. N. Hawthorn Stuart Sheldon, Follow It Home, acrylic and Chinese funeral paper on panel, 24″x24″, 2004...
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Stuart Sheldon
Feb 28, 20132 min read
Make Me Harder to Kill
Met an ex-Marine named Chad the other day. Guy was yoked, had "muscles on his muscles" as my dad liked to say. We got to talking about...
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Stuart Sheldon
Feb 5, 20132 min read
“I Don’t Know How to Look at Art”
Inside the Mind of Picasso, acrylic, oil crayon and resin on wood, 24″x24″, 2003 There are painters who transform the sun into a yellow...
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Stuart Sheldon
Jan 31, 20131 min read
Joyful Rants of a Happy Freshman
When was the last time you notably influenced the course of someone’s life (not including your children)? Even better, when was the last...
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Stuart Sheldon
Jan 29, 20132 min read
My Mother Was a Beauty Queen
This is My Mom!! My mother was a 1950’s beauty queen. I have a photo to prove it. She kneels atop a real live tortoise. Beneath a palm....
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Stuart Sheldon
Dec 27, 20122 min read
I Love An Addict
Rocks, acrylic on cardboard, 2000 My dear friend, Joel (not his real name) is sober 41 days. There is a purity in his voice, a direct...
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Stuart Sheldon
Nov 30, 20121 min read
Are You Happy, Daddy?
Stuart Sheldon, We Can’t Be Too Bold, acrylic and typing on Chinese funeral paper on panel, 12″x12″, 2003 “Are u happy, Daddy?” my...
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Stuart Sheldon
Oct 15, 20121 min read
The Parent of All Virtues or How My Son Saved My Life
By the time I hit 40 I was utterly over myself. Tired of the sound of my own voice. Bored stiff by my too-often-told lame jokes. I...
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Stuart Sheldon
Sep 26, 20122 min read
I Want to be a Chair
Until my later 30s the chair that I am had one very wobbly leg. I was off balance in the deepest part where intimate connection takes...
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