A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.                                                                                             Dave Barry I enjoyed my time in jail. I was the only guy...

  I have always loved elephants The gentle soulfulness Rough-hewn nobility They cannot hide Must be as they are in the world Lumbering Yet determined Many consider them good luck...

  Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.                                                                                                 Martin Luther King I got fired once. It wasn't pretty. It was Mother's Day, my...

Excerpted from my upcoming book, A Lonely Fool's Masterpiece: Jodi admired the series of horizontal weathered lumber and driftwood pieces strung together vertically. This rudimentary torso hung freely and moved subtly...

Excerpted from my upcoming book, A Lonely Fools Masterpiece: I’d painted my wife into my life. Time to paint us a child. We still had seven long months ahead of...

leonajosephine: This is pretty much what I did all day. Just hung out with a monkey named Beaker on a remote tropical island. She attacked me while I was playing...

Excerpted from my upcoming book, A Lonely Fool's Masterpiece: "So, I’m telling you, if it doesn’t happen next time, I don’t think I can do this anymore,” my wife said....

One vial contains drops of my boiling blood. It all speaks to the steady erosion of our civilized society. And with its mutilated reference to publishing, it laments the degree...