Not a Touching Story

Posted by on Jul 8, 2014 in Blog, Paintings | 50 Comments
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waterslidegirl

The little girl kept doing it … marching straight to the front, skipping everyone in line and going down the water slide. After the 3rd instance, I stepped in. The 6-yo culprit stood poised at the top in her one-piece, staring down the ramp, while my and my friends’ kids stood silently, confused.

“Excuse me. Everyone here is waiting in line and you need to wait too,” I said. I lifted her by the shoulders and placed her in line behind the other three kids. “Do you understand that?” I added. She instantly wilted and walked over to the railing, where she stared out into space. My 4-yo was next in line, and down we went together, singing as we curved, banked and burst into the splashy landing.

As my giggling boy and I emerged at the bottom, a tan woman in a pink bikini approached us with fire in her eyes. “Do you work here?” she barked into my face.
“No … I don’t,” I said.
“Then, why did you touch my child?” She stepped closer, her fury growing.
“She kept cutting the line in front of all the other kids.”
“You DON’T touch my child,” she growled. “She has autism.” Her grim-faced husband walked over.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t …”
“Try not to be so ignorant,” she said.
The lifeguard walked over and  asked, “Is there a problem here?”
“This guy aggressively touched my child,” the woman said, never taking her eyes off me.
“Listen, I’m sorry … Sincerely, I meant no harm.”

King of Nothing, acrylic, corrugated cardboard and antique book pages on canvas. 36"x48", 2005, Stuart Sheldon

King of Nothing, acrylic, corrugated cardboard and antique book pages on canvas. 36″x48″, 2005, Stuart Sheldon

I walked away, shaken by a seemingly simple situation that quickly became very complicated. “You didn’t know,” my wife reassured me. But then she asked a superb question, “What if that was our son, and you saw someone touch him?” THAT was the crux of the issue.

None of us want any stranger’s hands on our kids, especially not in a disciplinary manner. And, while I did not “aggressively touch” that little girl, I certainly lifted her up and moved her without reservation. I realize now that I was wrong to assume I could just step in as the referee. The moment I touched her daughter, the rules changed. Her autism, of course, made things far more delicate. Though, while my heart ached for what those parents must deal with daily, that was not the primary issue at hand.

I got spanked more than a few times by the principal in elementary school. But he was granted that authority by the system. As a former babysitter, summer camp counselor, stay-at-home dad and generally huggy person, I assume I can step in and, literally, handle situations involving my kids and their environment.

I may have been right in defending the fairness of the slide for the other children, but my touching that little girl, harmless as it was, was more wrong than my fairness was right.

I stepped onto a foolish and disrespectful, slippery slope. Those parents were justifiably indignant. And I felt genuinely ashamed for being so naive.

waterslide

I’m a good father, but that doesn’t mean I don’t make bad choices. Next time, I’ll think twice before I deem myself judge and jury for someone else’s child. Yes, it takes a village but, apparently (and sadly) we must know our fellow villagers well before we can touch their kids.

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50 Comments

  1. Noami
    July 8, 2014

    More wrong than my fairness was right. Great stuff, Stuart. Thank you for your honesty, willingness to share your apology and a lesson for the rest of us.

    Reply
    • Naomi
      July 8, 2014

      Naomi … not Noami (I think I’m tired?)

      Reply
    • Anonymous
      July 8, 2014

      Thank you, Naomi

      Reply
  2. mark Mark Lacy
    July 9, 2014

    Yes, thank you Naomi……. and thanks for helping all of us learn a good lesson Stuart. I have an autistic niece would have (mistakenly) done the same thing

    Reply
    • Stuart Sheldon
      July 10, 2014

      Mark, there is no way to know such things, which is a metaphor for life. We rarely know most of the facts. And never know all of them. Still, we act as though we have perfect clarity. And impose our reality on another, as I did here.

      Reply
  3. martha louise hunter
    July 10, 2014

    Stuart, I love your honesty, I truly do. Empathy & understanding – they’re so important, aren’t they? Keep up your good work & your growth!
    :) MLH

    Reply
    • Stuart Sheldon
      July 10, 2014

      Empathy and understanding are everything, indeed. In fact I think empathy + understanding = compassion.

      Reply
      • martha louise hunter
        July 10, 2014

        it can also mean not getting your ass kicked. sorry, couldn’t resist a little levity this beautiful Austin morning!!!

        Reply
        • Stuart Sheldon
          July 10, 2014

          Bingo! That mom was dead ready to kick my ass.

          Reply
      • Ellen Osman
        July 11, 2014

        Thanks, Stuart! That was impactful! It’s so important to think before you act on an impulse!!!

        Reply
  4. mark Mark Lacy
    July 10, 2014

    You both make me cry…. and feel joy that I know each of you

    Reply
    • martha louise hunter
      July 10, 2014

      I love you, mark lester lacy. I wasn’t kidding about what I said about your scruff on Saturday. truly the most handsome I’ve ever seen you. & that’s saying something xxx

      Reply
  5. Ashley
    July 10, 2014

    Stu, I think there was no harm done by your actions whatsoever. It is not your fault the girl has autism, and under normal cicurmstances I believe we have a social responsibility as well as parents. I know some may disagree, but I would have done the same thing.

    Reply
    • Anonymous
      July 10, 2014

      Not knowing, I probably would have done the same thing. Because, unfortunately, there are kids who do things like this and prevent other kids who have been taught the rules of wait your turn, to have to unjustly wait. However, you were completely unaware of the situation at hand, which could easily become a talking point w your kids later, about how yes, we wait our turn, but there are exceptions to the rule, like here. I remember having a similar convo w my parents at an amusement pArk as a kid when I saw the handicapped line. I think I, in my childhood state, may have actually said, that’s not fair they don’t have to wait in line. My mom then told me why and said us waiting in line was a small price to pay for our health. And that always stuck w me. Life lessons aren’t always pretty but necessary.

      Reply
      • Stuart Sheldon
        July 10, 2014

        Beautifully stated. These situations are complex and require nuance. And are clearly teachable for our kids.

        Reply
    • Stuart Sheldon
      July 10, 2014

      It’s a fine line.

      Reply
  6. stevovet
    July 10, 2014

    I had a very similar incident altho the child was not autistic. Wwe were at a gym open house at rec center and a 3 year old was running unsupervised on the tumble runway. His dad was on the other side of the runway trying to catch him and other people were calling his name trying to get him off so other kids could go. He came within reach and I gently grabbed him and pulled him off the runway, I was very soothing saying ‘come on bud, other kids need to use the ramp and I patted his head. I love kids, I am no hard ass. I thought I was doing a solid and the dad came over and got in my face and told me ‘don’t touch my kid’. And I got right back in his face and said “why don’t you learn how to control your kid, all I was trying to do was help do what you couldn’t do…get him off the ramp so the rest of the kids can go.” We have since become friends as our kids go to the same day care.

    But I get a lil indignant with today’s touch a phobe society. I get it, there are really bad people out there. But when we start treating everyone as if they were a child molester, society has lost. It is the same in my line of work, 2% are dead beat and are trying to f me, but I don’t treat the other 98% as if they are dead beats.

    Stay who you are Stu. I takes a village, we live in a village. There will always be those who think they are better than the village or don’t have to follow the village rules!

    Reply
    • Stuart Sheldon
      July 10, 2014

      Thanks Steve – you bring wisdom, as usual.

      Reply
    • martha louise hunter
      July 10, 2014

      hey, I don’t really think my reply is all that interesting, but it reminds of me when my husband david & I were first dating. he’s the dearest, most tender hearted man & he loves people, although he can play favorites with dogs. anyway – we were @ the market one day. there was this cute little kid & he patted her head or something – I internally cringed. I’m not a touch-a-phobe, particularly – but touching people, kids or not (&, yes I’m a mom) just encroaches on their personal space… there’s just something – I don’t know… just keep your hands to yourself. what’s that we tell our kids? “use your words”?

      Reply
  7. stevovet
    July 10, 2014

    But wait, there’s more! I disagree with your lovely wife’s ‘what if that were our child.’ If Bode-man was cutting the line and you saw another parent correct his behavior in the manner you did, would you be upset? No. You’d be embarrassed it had to go down like that in the first place. I don’t pretend to know for a second what it is like to raise an autistic child but I am pretty sure I would not blame it on other parents. It must be frustrating and heart breaking all in the same breath.

    I had a child who had special needs and we ran into a lot of miss-understanding from other parents. We dealt with it by educating them, not berating them.

    She should have THANKED YOU for being concerned about her child and trying to gently teach her social rules.

    Reply
    • Stuart Sheldon
      July 10, 2014

      Jodi feels, and I tend to agree, that the fact that this was a little girl and not a boy is a material fact. I fear our world has spun out with ‘child molester’ craziness. And when a man touches a girl, no matter how innocently, the knives come out. Whether that is wrong or right, it exists, and so I should have been more sensitive to it.

      Reply
      • Stevie
        July 10, 2014

        Learning from this, you could have grabbed her hand and led her back to your van. I mean to the back of the line. My bad.

        Reply
  8. Dedra
    July 10, 2014

    Wow, I come from an entirely different generation of parenting, so I fault the tan, bikini-clad woman for not keeping an eye on her child’s behavior in the first place. Where are HER priorities? She’s been gifted with a special child, and that means that she has been selected to pay even more attention to helping her daughter conform to society’s norms, not for society’s sake as much as for the girl’s. That you stepped in to help is what we used to do for each other, and we’d just say, “thanks”.

    Crikes, I had no idea you’re no longer supposed to touch other people’s kids! How else do you play “Oh Your Stinky Toes” I wonder? I learned from Barbara Coloroso that kids need touch on almost all parts of their bodies every day. (Obviously, she didn’t mean this for children who are agitated by touch) I hug, rub, tickle, and lift kids whenever it seems like my turn–I guess I’d better start paying more attention to the parents’ reactions, not the kids’.

    Reply
    • Stuart Sheldon
      July 10, 2014

      Dedra – wanna babysit my kids ;)

      Reply
    • Laura
      July 10, 2014

      Dedra, I agree with you. It is her responsibility to make sure her that her daughter is following the rules and she should have been up there at the top of the slide with her daughter. Stu, I’m not saying that what you did was right or wrong. I think you handled the situation about as well as most of us would. You could have yelled at the little girl or been more harsh, so while it might have been best to gently guide her to the back of the line, I don’t think you were horribly wrong in your handling of the situation. The mom could have made her point to you without getting so angry.

      Reply
      • Stuart Sheldon
        July 10, 2014

        You are kind Laura. We all just do the best we can in the moment.

        Reply
    • Anonymous
      July 14, 2014

      Thanks for stating the obvious, Dedra. I was wondering when someone was going to hold the parent accountable for her child’s behavior. Why didn’t she take notice when her daughter was monopolizing the slide? Her child’s autism, while unfortunate, does not give the mother a free pass on paying attention and helping this special child understand appropriate behavior.

      Reply
  9. andy peay
    July 10, 2014

    had this same scenario with a girl at a slide in the most berkeley of berkeley parks. everyone was waiting in line holding their cardboard sleds while a 6 year old girl kept walking right past us and going down the slide to her father who was standing and talking to someone else at the bottom. by the 5th or 6th time i finally stopped internally telling her to stop and stepped in and said please wait your turn at the end of the line like the rest of the children. i felt my heart rate increase, the tension in line go up a few notches, and heads turn toward me. i did not touch her (thankfully) though i am sure i would have held out my arm to stop her had she not stopped. she did stop as she was able to comprehend what i was saying and that i was an authority figure as an adult. that the girl you met was not able to created a situation where you had to physically restrain her. as someone else pointed out, her mother or father should be on alert for these situations as they are the only ones at the park who know she has autism and that is the reason for her non-compliance, not rudeness or selfishness. it is a role do not envy as special needs kids can be exhausting as vigilance is a constant state of mind (i have boys who are not special needs but require me to keep an eye on them at all times as they can get physical at the drop of a hat. it is rough and tiring but my responsibility and it is what it is.

    thank stu. i love that you share these ambiguous situations with us. it makes me feel a part of your community despite our far flung home bases. we are going through many of the same experiences and the right actions and reactions are not always obvious and reflexively correct.

    thanks for putting it up for us all to chew on.

    andy

    Reply
    • Stuart Sheldon
      July 10, 2014

      thanks andy for a very thoughtful and reassuring take. good to know we’re all fighting the good fight as best we can. without a map and, at times, a clue. appreciate the transcontinental hug. caught it and held it. ps. you can touch my kids anytime they act out. and when they are good, kiss em all over.

      Reply
  10. Harold
    July 10, 2014

    I am sorry but why was the child’s parents not with said child and correct her behavior? I am so sick of everyone believing that something is ok. Teach the child or be with the child to stop from find them in a much worse situation. Had this happen in my neighborhood in 1984 this would have been grounds for a crowd beat down. It doesn’t matter what is wrong with any person you do not have the right to do your own thing in public. If you or your children need special treatment stay home where you are special.

    Reply
    • Stuart Sheldon
      July 10, 2014

      Harold,
      A women with a young girl wrote me this earlier today, “I think our strongest instinct as parents is to protect our kids first and ask questions later- that’s exactly what you did in confronting the little girl…. And then exactly what her parents did after the fact.”

      I think that captures the essence of this circumstance.

      Reply
  11. Rey Howard
    July 10, 2014

    I see no problem with what you did. In my reading, the girl’s mother was twice ashamed — by her daughter’s actions as well as by her own failure to correct them — and relied on a destructive social convention to cover her shame, which convention says that another adult’s well-placed hand of guidance is in some sense a threat. Hogwash — of course it’s not. And what did her misguided anger teach the other kids in line about such well-placed guidance? To fear it, as though it came not from a peer of their parents but from a candy-bearing stranger in a car. I feel sorry for the little girl: Autism may not be the worst thing she’ll have to overcome in life — the shame and irrational fears she absorbs from her mother may vex her more deeply.

    Reply
    • Stuart Sheldon
      July 11, 2014

      Thanks Rey – again, my heart bleeds for this mother. And what I saw as her overreaction was perhaps just the cumulative effect of a never-ending battle to help/fix/manage her daughter. I truly believe her rage stemmed from her love.

      Reply
      • Anonymous
        July 11, 2014

        My take on rage is quite different: Although it may co-exist with love, rage is never the product of love. In my experience, unexamined habits relating to fear of self-awareness, empathy, vulnerability, and gratitude, are the generators of rage. Regardless, my primary point has nothing to do with the woman; it’s that you did nothing wrong. And on further reflection, I suspect that even the girl’s mother knew it. Think about it: Why else would she have thrown in the “aggressive” manipulation? Was it not because in her own mind she needed that word to avoid self-awareness/empathy/vulnerability/gratitude and justify her overreaction, to herself and all witnesses?

        Reply
        • Stuart Sheldon
          July 11, 2014

          good questions all.

          Reply
  12. Janette
    July 11, 2014

    I don’t have kids, so probably no authority to speak but gee when did we get so worried about touching kids? You were coming from a good place and there was no harm. When we were kids it was a community of activity. Lots of touching, talking , yelling, encouraging AND human contact, hugging from all the parents, neighbors – and even kids, hand-holding more timid kids and so forth. I recall a real eye-opener, Mr. Timlette told me off for being mean to Bernard Brown – it meant a lot coming from Mr Timlette. Parent’s looked to community to level-set expectations for all the kids when everyone was out and about. In a weird way it created balance. I remember that the only way I would jump into the pool was if some other random kid’s parent would jump into the “deep end” with me. When did we get away from assuming that all parents were good parents unless proven otherwise? And to state the obvious, if the parents were that concerned, why were they not watching their little one more closely to be sure there were no situations going on with other kids? Stuart, there is no doubt you were coming from the right place, and you should not second-guess yourself. IMO we are all a better society with more human contact,. oh and contact with the critters too.

    Reply
    • Stuart Sheldon
      July 11, 2014

      Three cheers for Mr. Timlette!!! Thanks Janette. When are we gonna drink some Viognier?

      Reply
  13. Bobby g
    July 11, 2014

    Stu,

    If you ever touch my daughter Sarah Ruby like that, I’ll whip your ass all the way back to Goldan Gate park and your old shrimp boat that you once called home.

    Bobby g

    Reply
    • Stuart Sheldon
      July 11, 2014

      Thanks Bobby, I needed the levity. The only person I’m gonna touch in your family is you. My open palm to the side of your bitch face.

      Reply
  14. Lisa
    July 11, 2014

    While I have never had to parent an autistic child, I have had to parent a very difficult one. He was just a bad kid for about 2 years. The kind of kid you could never take take your eyes off of. I understand Jodi’s comment about what if it was your kid? But I think if it WAS your kid, you would be watching him/her and ensuring he/she was behaving appropriately. That’s what I had to do for 2 full years. The responsibility in this story is on both of you; and I think equally. You don’t touch people’s kids these days (some people dont even touch there own kid these days) and as a parent, you need to watch your own kid and ensure that their behavior is appropriate. Great story!! xxoo

    Reply
    • Stuart Sheldon
      July 11, 2014

      Spoken like a seasoned pro mother!

      Reply
  15. Tara
    July 11, 2014

    Years ago after a news story about a young girl gone missing, I and a large number of others witnessed a disturbing situation on a college campus involving a screaming child and a woman who quietly picked up and walked off with the child (maybe 5 or 6 years old). I and the others dutifully alerted security and surrounded the woman who sat down on a bench with the child in her lap. I realized our mistake when I noticed the child’s hands in a death clench in the woman’s hair pulling her head down and the silent tears streaming down her face as “the village” tried to persuade her to let go and the child to step away (neither were going to happen). Security arrived. I was devastated but certainly no more so than this young mother and her child. Everyone was doing their best to protect the child. Everyone did the right thing. still sucked. Some of us certainly had our consciousness raised that day. That’s a great place to be.

    And now today, even more thanks to your sharing your experience and the conversations.

    Your mama’s rage was fear, love and even guilt. Please touch my children with compassion and love em up with respect, guidance and nurturing tolerance.
    Wet slobbery kisses and long breath stealing hugs to you and all of yours.

    Reply
    • Stuart Sheldon
      July 14, 2014

      Wow Tara … now that is perspective. Everyone trying to do the right thing yet achieving the opposite effect. Thanks for sharing such a teachable moment.

      Reply
      • Stevie
        July 14, 2014

        OK, I’m going to post on this. I slept on it bc, like most of my stuff it is opinionated and slightly in your face, but that’s just me:

        Anon makes a wonderful and eloquent point. However, I do not think the issue is so black and white. What if Stu had led the child by the hand to the back of the line? That violates the simple universal rule. People forget that humans occupy the top rung of the animal kingdom. But we are still animals and animals often communicate in physical ways. Our highly developed brain does not over-ride our endocrine system’s desire to compel us to react in what is often a physical way. It is how we are wired and it serves us well as a species. And not all physical action need be considered aggressive.

        Was Stu’s physicality categorized as aggressive? Yes, it seems so. But what about intent? Does that have a role here?

        I have children and they are little animals. They react gutturally in most situations. Violent physical activity is abhorrent, there is no argument there and anon’s analogy about what if it was an adult bears merit. Stu did try using his words as we all instruct our children to do first. I’ll bet this post’s comments and the pool atmosphere would have ridiculed Stu to no end had he gone to the authorities to deal with a little girl cutting the line: “Seriously dude, you went to the pool manager because a little girl was cutting the line? What were you thinking? (why didn’t you let your endocrine system handle it?)” I’ll take a parent’s well intentioned judgment over an authority figure (almost) any day.

        I’ll add something else and I’m sure many won’t like it. I tell my kids if someone hits then on the playground that they are to hit back and not go running to the teacher first. I got beat up a lot until my father forced this simple universal law on me and I learned at age 10 with one simple punch thrown on SW 72 nd ave and 124th street how not to get picked on anymore. My dad, as usual, was right.

        I get the lesson here by anon and I appreciate the reminder but it is not always so cut and dry. I love the fact that we can evolve as humans but I get concerned about over-evolving. And I’m not coming to my cousin’s rescue, in our family we rip each other as a form of entertainment.

        Also anon, I’m not looking to pick a fight, but unless you have a very good reason for remaining anonymous, to me it violates another simple universal rule handed down to me by, you guessed it, my dad: If you write it publicly, stand behind your words and proudly submit your name.

        We are far from a perfect species, that much is certain!

        Steve Sheldon

        Reply
  16. anon?
    July 12, 2014

    Great blog, kudos for candor, here’s your medicine . . .

    Surprisingly, it seems that some of the posters don’t know this simple universal rule:
    Don’t touch other people unless there has been an invitation, or it is necessary to to do so for the safety and well-being of yourself or others.

    Physical intervention is a last resort for strangers and stranger’s kids. Imagine the same story but replace the girl with an adult male or female that the writer physically handled because of line cutting. Never would any of us think that physical repositioning the adult stranger was what we should do or model for our kids. There is a clear line, and it has nothing to do with an overcautious society sensitive about child molestation. It has only to do with the fact that physical intervention _is_ aggressive. There’s nothing ambiguous about this situation as it is written.

    If you have kids, ask yourself if you want to teach them to intervene in the same circumstances in the same fashion. Or would you have them first use words with the offender, and then speak to an authority?

    Stu is a great person, that is indisputable. The action he took is nonetheless clearly inappropriate. Have I made similar mistakes? With certainty. We all make mistakes, and it serves us best when our loved ones don’t rationalize them away.

    Reply
    • Stuart Sheldon
      July 13, 2014

      You make your point superbly, particularly that “Physical intervention is a last resort for strangers and stranger’s kids.” I had not exhausted diplomacy before I made contact. My bad.

      Reply
  17. Jodi
    July 13, 2014

    I think “anonymous” above makes the best argument of all (though everybody’s perspective has been really interesting to read). What it really boils down to is modeling the behavior that we want our children to emulate. This was clearly not a situation where physical touch was warranted.

    Reply
  18. Stevie
    July 14, 2014

    Oopsie, I put this on the wrong spot (whew, glad I got my one mistake of the day out of the way).

    OK, I’m going to post this. I slept on it bc, like most of my stuff it is opinionated and slightly in your face, but that’s just me:

    Anon makes a wonderful and eloquent point. However, I do not think the issue is so black and white. What if Stu had led the child by the hand to the back of the line? That violates the simple universal rule. People forget that humans occupy the top rung of the animal kingdom. But we are still animals and animals often communicate in physical ways. Our highly developed brain does not over-ride our endocrine system’s desire to compel us to react in what is often a physical way. It is how we are wired and it serves us well as a species. And not all physical action need be considered aggressive.

    Was Stu’s physicality categorized as aggressive? Yes, it seems so. But what about intent? Does that have a role here?

    I have children and they are little animals. They react gutturally in most situations. Violent physical activity is abhorrent, there is no argument there and anon’s analogy about what if it was an adult bears merit. Stu did try using his words as we all instruct our children to do first. I’ll bet this post’s comments and the pool atmosphere would have ridiculed Stu to no end had he gone to the authorities to deal with a little girl cutting the line: “Seriously dude, you went to the pool manager because a little girl was cutting the line? What were you thinking? (why didn’t you let your endocrine system handle it?)” I’ll take a parent’s well intentioned judgment over an authority figure (almost) any day.

    I’ll add something else and I’m sure many won’t like it. I tell my kids if someone hits then on the playground that they are to hit back and not go running to the teacher first. I got beat up a lot until my father forced this simple universal law on me and I learned at age 10 with one simple punch thrown on SW 72 nd ave and 124th street how not to get picked on anymore. My dad, as usual, was right.

    I get the lesson here by anon and I appreciate the reminder but it is not always so cut and dry. I love the fact that we can evolve as humans but I get concerned about over-evolving. And I’m not coming to my cousin’s rescue, in our family we rip each other as a form of entertainment.

    Also anon, I’m not looking to pick a fight, but unless you have a very good reason for remaining anonymous, to me it violates another simple universal rule handed down to me by, you guessed it, my dad: If you write it publicly, stand behind your words and proudly submit your name.

    We are far from a perfect species, that much is certain!

    Steve Sheldon

    Reply
    • anon?
      July 14, 2014

      I agree with Steve that there is fuzziness about touch in general and he gives an excellent example. The clear line in my mind was drawn at coercive touch, but I didn’t specify . . . sorry.

      Steve brings up an excellent issue regarding anonymity and posting, and although it’s outside the scope of the OP, I want to at least give him the courtesy of response.

      First off, I don’t think there is a universal rule about anonymity. There is a variety of opinion about the advantages and disadvantages of it in the context of a discussion forum.

      A couple quick plusses you might not have considered regarding anonymity are:
      1. It allows a person to contribute a point of view with clarity that they might not otherwise contribute. The community benefits from the freedom that anonymity allows, as long as it is used respectfully.

      2. It allows fulfillment of the ideal that words should be evaluated on their merit.

      I think these are valuable advantages to anonymity and that’s why I chose to be anonymous this time. There are costs to anonymity as well, including depriving everyone of knowing me better ;-). Hopefully you feel that I have used the anonymity respectfully and have added to the discussion.

      Reply
      • Anonymous
        July 14, 2014

        You have Anon. And with grace. I hope to know you one day if I don’t already!

        Reply

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